THE CRAFTING OF AN ARTISTIC SELF

I would say I have developed an artistic self in the manner that I allow my person to be surrounded by the exact environment and emotional state I am in at that very moment. For example I believe oil painting is a process of falling in love. Entering the room, I slowly put my belongings down and set up my easel station. Lately the room has been all askew, easels, chairs, drawers all around, but in no particular order. Before I begin my search I like to have my easel adjusted, my chair securely behind it, table top to my right, and my handy stool in the northeast corner of the compass of items to elevate my still life. After that is entirely set up, I excuse myself to unlock my materials. I head toward locker number 44, fumbling with my keys to find the right one, all the while pondering which item will strike my fancy today. Nike box and new board in hand, I head back towards the classroom, usually in a careful manner seeing as the maintenance men are hard at work mopping the tile floors. Escaping the death trap that lurks in the halls of the cubical maze, I enter the room to set up my supplies; small DRF board (no bigger than 8 by 8 inches), small tear of freezer paper held down by masking tape, two jars (one of medium, one of terpenoid), and my bouquet of paint brushes rolled up in an old towel.
With my station set up I begin my journey across the room to the shelves of inspiration, to meet my mate. Gazing at each shelf in a daze, I stand there waiting to feel a connection with a particular object. It is a process of finding an object that encapsulates me to the point at which I am in a love spell for the next two hours. Usually I am inspired by just one object, one lonely piece. Sometimes the piece chosen will have a flaw I am attracted to that makes me inquire what it may represent in me or to me. The actual painting process is time for me to explore the questions that the still life inspired.
Once the object is selected, I head back to my station to start the positioning process. Artist in chair, I meticulously begin to move the object around on the stool in the northeast corner. This is an important process for me because falling in love with an object, also means falling in love with the scenario I put it in. Examples of this include a violin lying on its back, a severely broken tea pot wrapped in a cloth, and a ladder facing the corner of a room.
Finally I begin to paint. I choose my brush, one color of paint, and start to manipulate its pigment with medium. Choosing one color challenges me to use different brush strokes and hues to get the desired effect. I paint deliberately, and then observe, repeating the process over and over again until the image is finished. One class period, that is all the time I will allow myself to ferment over the painting. I feel that it would only be detrimental to spend too much time trying to perfect the raw image that came from my inspiration. One is only in love once, and I am only in that exact frame of mind once.